Secrets to a Happy Marriage

More than the memorable ceremony, reception, and fancy groomswear and wedding gown, marriage is about spending the rest of your life with your wife and family.

Marriage is a long-term kind of dance. And as they say, it takes two to tango.

At first, many couples are in La La Land when they marry.

But sometimes, along the way, couples may find themselves in periods of stress, boredom, or poor communication.

So, whether you are a newly wed or is currently having a hard time keeping things together with a long-time relationship and looking for inspiration, you have come to the right place. Here, we will talk about 10 secrets of a successful marriage.

Listen to each other — and we mean to do it properly. Face each other and disconnect from technology.

If they’re talking, put your iPhone down, take your headphones out, or turn the telly down. It will mean a lot, and it won’t end in an argument.

This is also a chance for you to show your spouse that you will always be their “best friend”. We know it’s hard not to be in “spouse mode” most of the time as you constantly need to talk about the kids, family schedules, and upcoming bills.

But always make sure that the two of you have that short but special moment where you just talk about simple things, say, about how their day went, or even how they are feeling at the moment. Small talks like that will help create a bond that will last.

When you’ve had an argument, it’s not always easy to get back to how good you were.

Everyone argues, but you need to remember that your relationship is bigger than the argument. You should not be against each other; it should be you and your spouse against the problem.

Practice forgiveness — not just forgiving your partner, but also forgiving yourself. Forgive more, forget more.

Once it’s all been sorted, forget about it and don’t hold a grudge. Instead, remind yourself why you married this person in the first place. Focus on those reasons and let petty stuff pass without mention.

Once you get married, the words “I” and “you” should be used less, and be replaced most of the time with the word “we”.

You have to think about someone else as well aside from yourself now that you are married. So, don’t do anything silly carelessly because if you get hurt or something bad happens, it’s not just you who will get affected; it’s your spouse, too.

They should be involved in a lot of decisions that you will make and you have to be responsible for your own actions as well.

You can’t give from an empty cup. So, give yourself time and be a life-long learner. Pursue your own passion and the things you love. This is also another way to take care of yourself not just physically, but also mentally and spiritually.

It’s not healthy to spend every second of every day together, so get yourself your own hobby, or go out with your friends on your own. It will make you appreciate and miss your partner more than if you were with them all the time.

Marriage is not the place for petty fights and being immature. It just won’t survive. Talk to each other like adults; you’re not children.

Communication also doesn’t always mean you have to talk all the time. In some situations, you have to relish the silence as well.

But keep in mind that the trick to successful silence is that you truly let the problem pass. If you stay silent and still harbour bad thoughts, well, that’s where bigger problem starts.

In this case, you can just give yourselves some time apart to breathe and clear both your minds and emotions. And if after that you still can’t find peace, make sure to talk things through and this time, actually plan ways to solve the problem.

Nagging will turn into bickering, and bickering will turn into arguing, and arguing will turn into resentment. You don’t want this to happen.

Ask about things nicely and you shall receive the answer that you want.

Or maybe sometimes, just certain times, the best way to address a problem is to just walk away from it. We mean to seriously just take a deep breath and let it go.

Not every fight must be addressed. It may not be even worth the time and energy. Know that not every insult is intended, and not every joke is half meant.

Intimacy doesn’t always mean just “doing it”. It comes in all shapes and sizes. Never let others define your own passion and connection as a married couple.

Bedroom habits age along with the marriage. Know that things change but that should not make your relationship less exciting or fun.

Compliment each other and remember what you once found amazingly attractive about the other person. Flirt with your wife or husband; they’ll appreciate it, and will more than likely do it back. Hey, presto! There’s your spark.

As one line from the famous love quote says, “love is never jealous”. But we know, we’re all just human beings! When we love someone, it is hard not to feel jealous sometimes.

And you also have to keep in mind that your partner is a human being, too, who is constantly interacting with other people. Let them enjoy things on their own and socialise with friends and colleagues.

The key here will always be to have trust. Trust your partner, and yourself as well. You are in a relationship because you chose to love, and part of that is to make sure that both of you are happy.

So, let go of the things that are beyond your control and focus on self-healing instead. Be at peace of your own emotions and always try to be reasonable.

Right before drifting off to sleep, share a few things that you appreciate about each other.

Even for the little things. That cup of tea she just brought you in bed? Say thank you. Has she made you dinner? Say thank you. Even if it’s an everyday thing, show some gratitude. It’s just plain manners.

As the wife, you should be respectful and kind to your husband, and he will cherish you. And as the gentleman, cherish and be kind as well to your wife, and she will respect you. Isn’t that a win-win?

Sometimes, without us knowing, we take advantage of those we love the most. Maybe it is the complacency that they will always love and understand us no matter what.

You just have to be self-conscious and be sensitive enough to feel if something is off. Take time to look at your spouse more often and notice if she smiles the same, talks the same, or if there’s something different on how she responds to you.

A more healthier pattern is to start each day asking yourself “what can I do today to make my partner happy?” And actually mean it.

Make an effort, cook them a posher meal than normal, dress up nicely, and offer them a back massage. Whatever it is, go the extra mile and it will be reciprocated.

Happily Ever After

Marriage, just like life itself, has its own share of ups and downs, peaks and valleys. All married couples go through periods where at first, the mere thought of life without your spouse can bring tears to your eyes. And then years later, you can’t even stand the sound of their breathing next you.

Don’t feel too bad about it; it’s a common phase to married couples, especially to those who have been together for such a long time.

Just always bear in mind that you won’t stay in that place forever, but you also got to make it work — not just when things get tough. But you have to work on it constantly. Everyday, you have to consciously make an effort to keep things alive and kicking.

We certainly hope that with these tips, we helped you find inspiration to keep the fire burning between you and your spouse. Goodluck there, mate!